[conor]

With the Royals giving out their lame awards, I thought The Onion had a funny article about awards.

Lesser-Known Awards In Major League Baseball
With Major League Baseball handing out its 2008 seasonal awards this week, Onion Sports runs down the more obscure offerings:

• The John Kruk Award: Given to the first baseman with the highest batting average and one testicle
  
• Hardware House Inc. Tarp of the Year Award: Goes to the year's most effective tarp
  
• The Jim Abbott Award: Honors the player with the highest OPS in the National League
  
• Tums Trophy: Bestowed upon the player with the most-improved digestion in the league
  
• Player of the Inning Pen: Awarded every inning of each game to the player who best exemplifies that inning
  
• The Wade Boggs Award: Trophy presented to any third baseman who catches at least one fly ball during the regular season
  
• Batter of the Future Award: Recognizes each league's best guy on deck
  
• Participant of the Year: Conferred upon the last few players not to get awards